As horrible as they are I can't help but love The Bachelor and The Bachelorette. The shows combine the stupidity of dating with the arbitrary nature of love/mate selection with a splash of competition for good measure. This season of The Bachelorette has been particularly ridiculous due to Ashley's (The Bachelorette) emotional immaturity (she describes all the guys as sexy studs- vomit) and the mens' lack of attractiveness. Here are my tweets from the past 2 episodes. Join me live this Sunday for the "Men Tell All" episode and next Monday for the finale on twitter @youngwby. Or wait until I post them here like a lame-o.
The Final Four: July 18, 2011
I'm not sure if it's the glass and a half of wine in me, but Constantine is looking kinda cute this week.
HIS TOWN IS CUMMING, GEORGIA? STOP IT.
The gap in Constantine’s dad's teeth is my favorite thing ever.
I'm in love with Constantine's dad. What do I do about this?
OMG MAKIN IT RAIN IN THE HIZZLE! I need to marry a Greek.
Ames’ sister looks JUST like him. WEIRD.
YYECCCHHhhEEEG <---- sound I made when I saw Ames' brother.
Ames' mom looks normal. Is his father Mr. Potato Head?
Aw, his dad's dead. Now I feel bad. #RIPMrPotatoHead
AMES? UNPOPULAR IN SCHOOL? NO.
Why is Ashley acting like she's never been in a winery before?
I fail to see how Ben's face is different from Constantine's. They both look like re re versions of each other.
Doing laundry and missed Ben's segment. I have a feeling it wasn't that interesting.
He cried about his dad and said he had "feelings" for Ashley. #PredictingWhatIMissed
JP is wearing the shit out of that shirt.
AIR SUPPLY? SHUT UP.
I want to rub my hands/"fill in the blank" over JP's head.
What's the story behind JP's brother's nose?
I want Ashley's dress but in white. #AndtoLoooseaMillionPounds
"I wanna know where Ames came from" BECAUSE HE'S AN ALIEN.
Omg Ash, SEND HOME ONE OF THE RE RE FACED ONES! #TakeYourPick
The Bachelor Pad preview just made me shake with glee. I CAN'T WAIT.
Ames is trying so hard to look normal and failing.
DID HE JUST WINK? WHY IS HE SO WEIRD? #Ames
Oh Ames. So many teeth, so little time. #SeeYouAtTheCrossroads
Down to 3: July 25, 2011 Episode
This "return bachelor" has to be Ryan. I can't imagine Ames doing anything that desperate.
IT'S RYAN. UNLEASH THE CRAZY.
I love that Ashley is looking at Ryan like he's a special ed kid. This is magic.
I don't understand how Ashley's soooo smitten with Ben. He has a primate face/the personality of dry oats.
"I think our life would be very exciting." –Ashley Being on a boat is exciting. BEN IS NOT EXCITING.
"It's been years since I've felt this way" Really, Ben. I can't tell that you're feeling anything at all. #NumbMonkeyFace
I've never been so bored watching a Bachelorette date. Jesus.
Ben, if you actually learned something from Ashley, you have the emotional maturity of a papaya.
"I'm hoping Ben shows me how he feels in the fantasy suite" with his dick. #subtext
"Everything in life to me right now is just clear" LIKE YOUR WATERY ASS PERSONALITY.
Ryan, if you were a woman everyone would think you're desperate/delusional/pathetic. Like I do right now.
I see the helicopter contract from last season got renewed. I swear there was one in every ep of Brad's season
Ok ok ok Constantine is cute, but he is hardly a "Greek God", Ashley.
If Ryan said all he wanted was a lock of Ashley's hair to carry around, I would not be surprised. #psycho
Setting the Charlie's Angels trailer to Ke$ha just ensured that I will never watch that show.
Soooooo looks like Constantine's goin home.
DANG. That is a man right there.
Sigh. Time to bust out the vibe, Ash.
I can taste Ryan's desperation. It tastes like aspirin and white musk.
This Ryan interview set to different music would be super menacing. That is how crazy he sounds.
JP is sexing Ash and he didn't even have to drop the L word?! 500 gangster points.
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